...
No, I'm totally kidding. I had you going though, didn't I?
Truth is, things are again looking up. I experienced a lull in creativity and zest for life. As of now, however, I cannot find a reason to be sad. My classes are going well, I've finally got a nice computer setup, Stark is amazing as always, and my new job at the pet store is becoming more and more thrilling by the moment. (Well, the idea of it, anyway. I have until the 10th!)
I've also started to play Final Fantasy XIV online. A while ago when a lot of my friends mentioned the game, talked about its reviews and new features, I just shrugged it off. At that time it was another one of those things that I would never play or get into. But as time went by, I decided that I wanted to be involved, and by golly, I am. My character is a tall and mysterious-looking elf woman named Peregrinne Listair. At this point I am thoroughly enjoying myself. Even if the game is a bit slow at times, I still find the game's world captivating. Even if I run out of monsters to slay or quests to take, Peregrinne will sit down with Ardel (Stark's character) and watch the sun rise over the plateaus. As odd as it sounds, this game lets me feel closer to Stark when we're apart. (It helps that Ardel looks a lot like him, too. Haha.)
FFXIV aside, I have also been neglecting to show you guys some of my new art. This cannot BE! So here are a couple of my newer pieces worthy of display. I hope you enjoy them.
I'll let you enjoy them with no explanation. :3
I've come to realize, slowly, that I am an odd creature when it comes to my moods. Often, one bad event will put me in a sour mood for the rest of the day. Then, of course, even the best of days are coated with that sour film. I've come to realize that this nature of mine is toxic to my well-being. It stiffens my sense of humor, tires out my body, and stresses my mind. One day I thought to myself, this is no way to live. This must stop. And almost as soon as I thought that, I felt better. I found myself more flexible and able to shrug off mild displeasures. I'm recovering from pessimism. It is a poisonous place to be in when you're a pessimist. I know that I don't want to be one... and even if it is a conscious effort to remain free of self-instilled-negativity, I won't become one.
That is not how I am going to choose how to live.
As Gandalf said to Frodo when he wished the Ring had never come to him, "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us." I don't think any words have impacted me as much as these have. To me, they remind me to choose the life you want to live. Make the best with what you are given, because it's all you've got. Decisions are what make us us.
Thanks again for reading. I leave you with a quote.
"Not knowing when the dawn will come I open every door." --Emily Dickinson
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